Pancho wasn't his real name obviously, his real name was Juan. Contrary to what a lot of people think he didn't get his nickname from his ethnicity, he got it from his favorite place to eat. Whenever my friends took a quick poll on where we wanted to eat, Juan always voted Pancho's Mexican Buffet. In time when we were asking who wanted what we'd point at somebody, ask their name and they would tell us what restaurant they wanted. When we pointed at Juan we would just say Pancho instead of Juan. The name stuck.

    He is of Mexican decent four generations removed, his family moved here at the start of World War 2 because they were well off and some people in power in Mexico had an unhealthy interest in his family's money. The entire affair disgusted Pancho's father so much that his family disavowed any connection to their original homeland. His father told everybody that when they became Americans they gave up any connection to the land that spurned them.

   Because of his father's dislike of Mexico, Pancho never learned Spanish. His father told everybody that if you wanted to succeed in this land, you better speak the language. He dared us to name someone in America that didn't speak English that was in any position of authority or influence. So Pancho and his siblings only spoke English growing up. In school when he had to take another language he chose German because of his grandmother. To this day when somebody assumes he speaks Spanish and talks to him in that language Pancho always answers back in German. It's how he met his wife.

   Little known fact is that Pancho's middle name is Fritz. His grandmother married a young German man in the late thirties in Mexico. That man would later die in WW2 fighting for the other guys, and Pancho's grandmother would later marry Pancho's grandfather. When Pancho was born his grandmother asked her son to name Pancho after both of her husbands, Juan and Fritz. Pancho's grandfather being dead, he was given both names.

   Pancho later looked up what happened to his name sake trying to find out what happened. Surprisingly, he actually got in contact with two British sailors that sank the U-Boat his namesake was on. I'm not sure what you ask two men who were responsible for depth charging the man you were named after to death off the coast of Ireland in 1942, but the conversation did help Pancho get a little history about the man who could have been his grandfather.

   Pancho had one weakness, and that was good food. Unfortunately like the rest of teenagers everywhere, good food and cheap food are frequently incompatible terms. But then there was Momma Hatties. An Irish pub style restaurant in Humble at the corner of 59 and FM 1960 at the time. They had cheese sticks to kill for and burgers that took both hands to hold. Best of all, Momma Hatties was cheap enough for teenagers to eat and not blow the bank. Which brings us to the conflict of the tale.

   Pancho loved food. Momma Hatties had great food. Momma Hatties also buns blackened with poppy seeds. Most restaurants sprinkle some on for coloring or flavoring. Momma Hatties liked their buns blackened. Pancho ate two burgers for lunch one day and went to work. He got to the Office Depot and they handed him a cup for a random drug test. Yes people, the story about poppy seed buns and false positives on a drug test are very true. He pleaded his case when they tried to fire him for abusing opiates. Fortunately for him everybody knew about Momma Hatties and their burgers. He passed the second drug test and kept his job. Did swear him off of that place for a while.

   He still lives in Humble, and though Momma Hatties is long gone, you can still find him occassionally eat out at the corner of 59 and FM 1960. Just look for the Panchos.