I remember when I was a kid there were what seemed like hokey shows on Saturday night and Sunday morning. Sunday morning was wrestling, which we have all seen become a prime time event. It’s still as hokey as ever, but the production quality has really sent its popularity through the roof. The other campy sport show was Roller Derby: chicks skating around a banked track, doing choreographed moves like body slams, flying clotheslines and more! Of course, like wrestling, it was a show disguised as a sport; but unlike wrestling, it lost popularity, the last broadcast occurring sometime during the mid 1970’s.

Well ladies and gentlemen, Roller Derby is back! What was once a spectacle has finally become a legitimate sport. The banked tracks have been replaced by the flat track version of the sport, as the ability to mark track boundaries on a skating rink floor or other venues – rather than building and storing a large banked track – has made it possible to play the game just about anywhere.

In the early 2000’s, modern women’s roller derby got its start in Austin, Texas, starting with the Texas Rollergirls, and the Houston Roller Derby followed shortly thereafter. These new leagues were formed as businesses run by the athletes themselves, and the sport of roller derby has spread like crazy. By 2010, there were more than 450 flat track roller derby leagues worldwide. (WFTDA website: http://wftda.com/history)

The Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA), which coordinates and sets the rules that govern sanctioned inter-league competition among its members. The WFTDA member leagues create "travel" teams who play against each other in regional matches, although some leagues that are not WFTDA members have independently arranged their own travel teams and inter-league bouts. WFTDA also publishes rankings and organizes annual championship tournaments for its members in good standing. While not directly affiliated, many independent leagues around the world have adopted the WFTDA rules and standards either completely or as a foundation for their own rules. (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roller_derby)

Houston Roller Derby

Recently I had the exciting pleasure of seeing my first live roller derby (a double header), when Houston’s Psych Ward Sirens hosted the Hell Mary’s from Austin. It was a close bout, with the final score: Psych Ward Sirens 85, Hell Mary’s 80. Next up, an inter-league bout between the Bayou City Bosses and The Brawlers. Final score: Bosses 137, Brawlers 126.

I asked Houston Roller Derby for some help understanding how scoring was done, player positions and how the leagues were organized. Houston Roller Derby’s spokesperson Tiffany Hamilton (aka Grrrl Friday, blocker for The Bayou City Brawlers) was patient enough to explain to me how it all worked.

Positions:

Pivot: Sets the pace for the pack and acts as the last line of defense. Not only does she wear the helmet cover with the strip, she is the brains of the pack.

Blocker: Makes life difficult for the Jammer as she knocks around the opposing blockers, and keeps her from getting through the piles of bodies that she leaves laying around the track.

Jammer: The skater with the star on her helmet, she is the speed demon extraordinaire. She rips through the pack with the greatest of ease and scores points by passing members of the opposing team while remaining inbounds.

Lead Jammer: The 1st Jammer who passes all opposing skaters inbounds, legally without committing fouls against them.

The Game:
The pack begins with a pivot from each team in front, 3 blockers from each team in the middle, and a Jammer from each team in the back. When the first whistle blows, the pack takes off, and on the second whistle the Jammers blast off and fight their way through the pack, in an attempt to become the “Lead Jammer.”

The blockers are playing both offense and defense, while they assist their Jammer through the pack and block the opponent’s Jammer. This is where you’ll see the fancy whips and booty blocks by walls of blockers! Keep in mind that the blocker must stay within 20 feet of the pack to be in “in play.” The pack is defined as the largest group of blocker/pivots containing members of both teams.

The Jammers lap the pack, and when they re-enter the pack they receive one point for each member of the opposing team that they block/pass. A jam lasts a maximum of two minutes; but the “Lead Jammer” has the right to call off the jam at her discretion.

Blocking:
Is any movement on the track designed to knock her opponent down or out of bounds. Legal blocks can be performed on the arm from shoulders to elbows, on the chest and front side of the torso, hips and upper thighs. Skaters may not use elbows, forearms, hands, or heads to initiate blocks.

Penalties:
It might appear as though there are no rules among combatants on wheels; but there are penalties for certain behavior such as:

Major Penalty (1 major = 1 minute in the penalty box):
A foul that causes harm or adversely affects the game.

Minor Penalty (4 minors = 1 minute in the penalty box):
A foul that does not cause harm or adversely affect the game.

I also asked Ms. Hamilton, who were the standouts or “stars” in roller derby? Smiling she told me “the stars are easy to tell because they have stars on their helmets (Jammers),” the Jammers are the high profile players, and of course, the ones who score the points. Therefore, as I watched the bouts I saw exactly what she meant. “Beverly Kills,” The Bayou City Bosses Jammer zigged and zagged her way through the pack over, and over again. While “Wicked Sweet” from the Psych Ward Sirens kicked ass the entire bout against Austin’s Hell Marys scoring a “Grand Slam” and pretty much being unstoppable.

For you gals who have ever even considered or dreamed about being a roller girl, having a groovy skate name like Voodoo Vixen or Chainsaw Chic or maybe just want to get out and do something different. Houston Roller Derby holds auditions and even has a recreation league, The Machete Betties, who periodically hold auditions. Check out Houston Roller Derby’s Website they also have online tickets sales, a detailed schedule (home and away bouts) and pretty much, whatever you might want to know about the sport.

Although the rules may seem a bit technical, once you are there, amidst all the energy of the fans and teams, it all makes perfect sense. Any confusion I had suddenly evaporated as I was taken over by the colorful names, the excitement of the fans, the fishnet stockings and all the action that is, Houston Roller Derby.

For Red Pub
Charles Graham

Don’t miss Houston Roller Derby’s upcoming bouts:

Where: KICKS Indoor Soccer
611 Shepherd Drive, Houston, TX 77007

When: Saturday, July 17th
Doors open @ 6:00, Bout #1 begins @ 7:00

Bout #1: Brawlers vs. TXRG's Hustlers
Bout #2: Bayou City Bosses vs. Psych Ward Sirens

Band: Ska Bones
Charity: Just Ask Foundation
After party: Brewery Tap

Advance Tickets:
General Admission $12
VIP $25

Buy tickets in advance from your favorite skater
or buy tickets online!

Tickets at the door:
General Admission $15
VIP $25