"That boy is about as sharp as a bag of wet mice." Those were the first words I heard to describe Joe. Coach made that observation after Joe dislodged a ball from the ceiling with another ball and watched it fall straight into his head instead of getting out of the way. Joe was not a dumb man, in my high school there were no people of below average intelligence. Joe just didn't think as fast as everybody else. He was the last to get the joke or solve the puzzle, but he did always solve the puzzle.

   Joe was two years ahead of me in school. Most schools separate the classes, but not mine. He was known as Three Fingered Joe after a hunting accident earlier in his life cost him two fingers on his right hand. There was alcohol involved in that affair. With Joe, there was always alcohol involved. He was the stereotypical redneck, he moved to Texas from North Carolina the year before he came to my school. His impact on that school was brief, but at least he was memorable.

   One day Joe was arrested. It was a big deal, we had no idea why the police suddenly showed up and took him out of class. The rumors swirled but nobody had any proof. He had guns, but he never had once shown malice towards anybody. His laconic style and southern hospitality left him with many friends and no enemies. Everybody just assumed it was alcohol involved but those were just assumptions. All we knew was the police showed up and took him away in the middle of class one day.

   The story was big for a few weeks before it faded into the background. We had more things to worry about than the fate of one guy that was out of sight and mind. So life returned to normal and people quickly forgot the fate of Three Fingered Joe. Two weeks later I showed up to my World History class and there without explanation was Joe, busily working on a module. Nobody had said anything about his return, but there he was like nothing had happened.

   The class waited for Mrs. Wright to leave the room before we grilled the man about where he was and what happened. Joe, always being very reticent, simple answered all the questions with two words.

   "Wasn't me."
   This of course opened up an entire cascade of questions as we began to interrogate this man about the full details. Finally he opened up and gave us the full skinny. Turns out he was falsely accused of getting a girl pregnant back in North Carolina. When we asked him how they found out the truth, he explained simply.

   "Judge looked at me, looked at the baby, looked back at me and said 'Sir, we are sorry for wasting your time'. Ma'am, would you please tell us who the real father is?"

   Turns out the baby looked nothing like Joe. Adding to the problem was both parents shared an eye color that the baby didn't making it even less likely the baby was Joe's. The girl had gotten pregnant and when asked who the father was panicked and named Joe. Since he had moved to Texas she thought they would never look for him. Her father was a bit more tenacious than she expected. Joe had a letter from the judge completely exonerating him and telling everyone who needed to know that the man had been falsely accused and was cleared of any and all wrongdoing. Think he still has that letter framed.