Chet looks like Larry the second Stooge. He also hates my guts. Not just my guts, but Ski and Pancho's guts as well. We had different ideas on humor, where we tried to be freeform and spontaneous Chet liked to perform prewritten skits and focus on existing jokes. A butting of the heads was about to ensue.

   I never got into the Rocky Horror Picture Show. I went, never actually got to sit through it. Chet ran the show years and years ago, it was his job to maintain the flow. After one sitting before I left because it was boring the show consisted of Chet and his friends walking up and down the aisles telling people what to say. Ski had never been and asked me to go back weeks later to say he's been. Pancho wanted to go so the three of us set off.

   It was the exact same as the previous time I went. Same jokes, same lines, same songs, same everything. There was nothing entertaining, and having three men walking up and down aisles yelling out what we were supposed to say was even more annoying. I wanted to leave. Ski decided other actions were needed. Right as Brad and Janet walked up to the castle Ski acted. Jumping up in the center of stage the World's Sexiest Pollack (according to him) performed flawlessly the History Eraser Sketch from Ren and Stimpy. At the end of his inspired lunacy Pancho and I did finish off Ski's version of the announcer by standing up and shouting "NO I CAN'T!"

   They threw us out.

   Next week we were back with a vengeance. And a stuffed seagull, a sledge hammer, juggling pins, wire hangers, and a Klingon Bird of Prey in stealth mode. By throwing us out for breaking from the rote monotone of the movie Chet had challenged us. So it was on. He threw us out every week for different gags. We did the wave with three men, danced the Time Warp a full beat off step, staged an Indian massacre, got our right and left mixed up in the dance instructions and did anything we thought was funny. A good number of people thought we were bringing a spark to the place. Chet felt we were usurping his authority. He tried to thwart us, but we were prepared.

   They gave us parts in the movie and we accidentally kept mixing up scenes with Diamonds are Forever. When told to stop sneaking things in we brought a door under our arm. When confronted we did point out at no point did we try to obfuscate the door or bring the door in without his notice. When told not to bring anything in that wasn't specifically allowed or expected in the movie we brought in a bag containing 45,000% more rice than normal. Chet never said how much rice to bring.

   I wasn't there the day I was banned for life. Chet had had enough, it was time for us to go. Ski and Pancho were going back on a day I had to work late. Chet stopped them at the door and said per his authority we were not allowed into his show ever again. We were banned for inappropriate humor. Or actually humor if you asked us. Ski took this personally and got right into Chet's face, well, about a foot above it. Ski is a large man, Chet is not.

   "Let me get this straight. You people go to see the same movie every Friday. You wear the same costumes to see the same movie every Friday. You sing the same songs, wearing the same costumes at the same movie every Friday. You dance the same dances while singing the same songs wearing the same costumes at the same movie every Friday. You act out the same scenes dancing the same dances to the same songs at the same movie every Friday," Ski paused for effect, "And you call yourselves deviants?"